Happy New Year! Well, not quite. It's just the first day and there's a heavy stink of failure in the air. What, you expected otherwise? Foolish you.
Firstly, Year 11 Parents' Evening. To see how many parents want to actually speak to teachers - apparently one-sheet reports aren't enough, who'd have guessed? - there's a letter with a slip at the bottom you're supposed to cut off. On the back of the letter is a table for pupils to record appointment times with teachers. Spot the intentional mistake. That's right. You have to cut off half the sheet. The solution? Give out the reverse side separately, of course.
Some teachers left school over the term holiday (who can blame them?), so pupils have been issued new timetables. Bizarrely, everyone got them, even those with no changes.
We at Templar Truths wish you a happy New Year, but we're smart enough to realise it's not going to happen.