Wednesday, 30 April 2008

Monthly Roundup

It's not been a particularly busy month, but the National Union of Teachers, Classroom Assistants and Sex Educators (NUTCASE*) strike provided plenty to talk about. Here's the small bits of news we haven't mentioned:
  • Our latest poll has closed and it turns out that opinion is quite divided. We asked how the builders are doing and there's an equal split between "Yes - leave them alone!" and "Help, I'm choking". However, the overall majority has more negative votes than positive.
  • The social area had one its windows smashed.
  • Not really an exclusive or anything, but have a look at Temple Moor's staff having a football match against some Sixth Formers:

  • Good luck to Years 9, 11, 12 and 13 with their upcoming exams.
  • Year 11 have their prom tomorrow (that's Friday 2 May)
*Not actual name of the striking union.

Tuesday, 29 April 2008

All about the house system

This week sees more house assemblies as house leaders either congratulate their houses or tell them to hurry up and beat the current leaders. Since the system's appearance last year, we've wondered why and wondered exactly what it means for Temple Moor.

Already we have forms, so the house system wasn't implemented to group students together. What it does do, though, is provide easier competition throughout the school by a simple segmenting into quarters - never mind the eight forms and seven years, this method gives competitions an extra incentive and a simpler breakdown.

But what of the names? Clearly TMHS ditched the old house names - Manston, Scargill, Dunstan and DeLacy - for science-themed ones, because of the Science College status. The current houses - as you're no doubt aware - are Rigel, Capella, Sirius and Vega. Alright, so they're all named after stars - but why these ones? They are not the brightest stars in the sky (barring the Sun, Sirius is the brightest, followed by Canopus then Arcturus) and they're definitely not the closest (Alpha Centauri is a bit of a silly house name, though). So why these four random stars, two of which are technically binary systems*?

The colours are (according to Wikipedia) the same four as used in the old house system. However, this was botched this year by ties that are different shades of the colours - mostly looking hideous.

There's not a lot more to say about the house system - except last year's winners were Sirius. It's not another horrendous scheme, thank God, and it actually seems to be a good idea for competition, if nothing else. Let's hear what some students think:
  • "I don't think it really makes a difference to be honest"
  • "It's sh*t...we were fine before. If it's not broke. Don't fix it"
  • "hasn't really made any form of impact"
  • "Completly Rediculous And Pointless"
  • "pointless"
If you disagree with this post, or think those pupils' quotes are wrong, leave a comment or email us.

*Binary systems have two stars in them. For example, there's Capella A and Capella B. Sirius appears to be one star, but is actually two - imaginatively called Sirius A and Sirius B.

Saturday, 26 April 2008

Welcome to our future.

It's safe to say that for a while many people have said the world is going to pot, the older generation seem to reiterate this more frequently that some of us young 'uns do. Although you may just laugh off the 'When I was a wee lass' and 'Back in the good old days' surely you have noticed the underlying truths that they mention. It then begs the question, what is happening to us? Where are we going? and all other meaning of life esque questions.

Being only in the middle stages of my teenage years, it may be safe to say that I my life stretches out before me (touch wood, and by wood I mean a huge oak tree) that should be reassuring however, is it? Is it really? Can you squash the claims that inner city flats will not turn into crime ridden slums? Can you ignore the horrifying stories splattered across the papers, robbing, rape, murder? Can you say that there will be no more terrorism? Can you say you will be safe?

So being on the verge of the rest of my life, first GCSE exam on friday and having had a bumpy ride through school, i'd like to point this out.

I'm scared.

Wednesday, 23 April 2008

More P.E?

It's something that the PE staff never fail to remind us a regular basis; PE is important. It's not everyone's favourite lesson, but I'm willing to bet that quite a lot of students would prefer PE to, for example, Maths. It's not the worst lesson out there no matter what spin you try to put on it. It's a break from the mind-numbing tirade of spouted nonsense that irrefutably descends upon almost all other subjects, and there isn't a doubt in anyone's mind that it's good for you.

And it's also been reiterated by the same staff many, many times in the past school year that they are fighting tooth and nail to get more weekly PE time. It's one of the more popular subjects (to a lot of people), it's a great way to keep in shape, and it'd surely prove we are the "healthy school" we claim to be. Healthier school meals alone surely isn't going to keep you fit - you should also be excercising. So the point of my slightly incoherent ramblings is thus. Why does the school not increase weekly (or fortnightly) PE lessons?

Alright, it'd mean one other unlucky subject may fall an hour behind every week or fortnight, but PE should take priority. Your health is something you'll have to keep in check all of your life. But who cares, 20 years down the line, if your Art skills aren't perfect? Or whether you can remember a list of obscure enzymes or cloning techniques? Or that you can't recall how to calculate bizarre, highly advanced mathematical equations?

I know that none of those things are likely to effect me again in my life, and the same applies to most people. But fitness... that's something you can't ignore. You need to stay in shape, forbid you find yourself waking up one fateful morning, 50 years old, 25 stone, with a morbid odour and a foot blistering with gangreen. (Okay, slightly unlikely scenario, but plausible none the less.) It'd require some careful planning and discussion (put the kettle on and find your thinking caps people), but it'd be worth it in the long run. Especially if you ever find yourself running away from Chlorine Gas.

Friday, 18 April 2008

School Closure

Hopefully, we'll do a slightly better job of informing students about this than the school did.

On Thursday 24th, the school will be closed for students in Years 7 - 11 due to the NUT teachers strike. NUT, whilst it may be hilariously apt, is in fact the name of the union; not a remark about the teachers going on strike.

Whilst Sixth Form will still be, as far as we're aware, required to attend on this day, most of us will have a day to ourselves.

However, whilst on the matter, the school's means of informing it's pupils today was rather dire. Letters were sent around during the last period of today but, unfortunately, they apparently did not reach all classes. Meaning that some people left school today blissfully unaware of the strike. Luckily, Templar Truths is here to do it's duty to the pupils of this school and inform them in a way the school itself failed to do. To those who could potentially have gone through the weekend without knowing, and not been informed until next week, it's a bit too short notice. So please, Temple Moor - especially since this is nowhere near the first time you have failed to inform pupils of important information such as this - try to send letters around a few hours earlier. Maybe then, they'll be time for everyone to be informed.

So start making plans for your day off. Make the most of it, by Friday we return the bowels of hell.

Monday, 14 April 2008

The Real life "Ceiling Cat".

Now i've heard some fairly bizzare stories in temple moor, things that confuse and bewilder the mind but no story has ever made me laugh so much as the story of the real life "ceiling cat". Apparently a certain teacher was just getting into his room at about 7:30 when suddenly one of the ceiling panels came crashing down onto one of the desks, a seemingly normal accurance in the world of temple moor as they are always trying to kill us, however when this particular teacher went to see what the damage was, to his suprise what he found insted of a broken roof tile crumpled were some small child would be sat in about and hours time was a hissing, spitting cat. No work of a lie this cat was so angry it tried to jump back up into the roof hole. After many attemps of catching this cat, some other person im not sure who went and got a coat and threw it over the cat, grabbed it and took it outside. I dont know about you but i have this awesome mental image of a teacher wrestling with a cat like you would a crocodile...made me lol!!
I need to find this cat and give it a medal its really is the real life "ceiling cat".

Thursday, 10 April 2008


April 24 is a date of your diary (if you have a diary - surely you must have some sort of planner, regardless of how awful they might be...). NUT - a teaching union (but not the only one) - are getting its members to strike.

It's the first strike for twenty years, and is happening because the teachers are fed up with their pay. Apparently the government are stopping teachers' pay being affected by inflation. Unsurprisingly, they're not happy. You see, people want money if they're going to be subjected to chlorine gas.

But never mind what the teachers want. What does it mean for Temple Moor? Well, we've had a tip-off that about thirty staff are NUT members. This isn't a majority, but it's a fairly substantial amount. However, it's unlikely that Temple Moor will be shut (BSF disaster pending). So you can expect supply teachers to descend en masse.
Update: Apparently they can't hire lots of supply teachers. A day off is looking very likely indeed, which can only be good news.

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

2 + 2 = 5

Next week is going to be "maths focus week". Now, if you remember uniform focus week, you'll remember that for every lesson we got a stamp, which lead to plenty of credits all round.

But - and many will be thankful for this - we don't have maths every lesson. So instead, every maths stamp (with its new pi design, a huge improvement on the previous cross) will actually be worth a credit. That's big credit opportunities, but does anyone care?

During the uniform week, people had tucked-in shirts, ties done up and the like. The week after - which was the start of a new term - no-one had carried over this habit. The bribes don't work. Regardless, the maths department is (presumably) hoping this will lead to some sort of mathematics revolution with all children embracing the problems of Pythagoras or the trick of trigonometry. I have a feel that nothing of the sort will happen.

Incidentally, one teacher said we should all search YouTube for "maths songs". Well, in the interests of our readership, I did. Here's one that came up called "I Hate Maths". Enjoy:

Monday, 7 April 2008

Water fiasco!

We do love Yorkshire Water. They've only gone and cocked everything up - to BSF-esque standards. In fact, they've cut off the school's water supply.

Why? I don't know. Perhaps they want us all to die of dehydration. Perhaps it's a mercy killing? All we at Templar Truths know is that our school has been closed. And we couldn't be happier. It's all down to everyone's least favourite thing ever...Health and Safety. But this time the overprotective nannies of Britain have gone and secured us an earlier departure from the pits of hell.

However, we might be back tomorrow. If not, that's epic. If we are, then someone's actually gone and fixed it which is a bloody miracle!

Update: apparently it's all down to a burst pipe, an incident which occurred at half past eleven. Will this disaster (the latest in a seemingly never-ending series) impact on this month's poll on the builders? The BSF chaps need to start giving us money or they've not got a lot going for them in terms of support.

Sunday, 6 April 2008

Business as usual

Now school is set to recommence, after an unbearable two weeks away from our beloved establishment (cough), we just wish to remind you all that the blog is still going strong. Comprised mainly of elder school pupils (or are we?), there's not long left for us until Study Leave (for those of us lucky enough to get study leave). Meaning that, in a few week's time, we'll be gone, and will have nothing to blog about. So if we're going to keep the public up to date with the horror that can be life at our precious school, we're going to rely on your contributions. The email address, which you can find just down the page if you look, is .

And, since we don't have much longer, we're going to have to make the most. So for the remaining few weeks we have at the school, we're not going to miss a beat. Every time a teacher swears, a substitute finds himself way over his head, or the builders endanger all of our lives by puncturing a tank of poisonous gas, we'll be there to report on it. Yeah, we're sad, we know.

Oh, and since some of the teachers happen to have started forming guesses over precisely who is who on this blog... We thought we'd shake things up again. Who am I, Idle Idol? Or am I only one person? In fact, who is using which accounts at all? For that matter, do we still have the same contributors we had, say, a few months back? You work it out... if you can. Heck, who says I'm not a new member?

Or maybe I'm telling people this to confuse them and lead them in the wrong directions. All I can say is that we've had a behind the scenes shake up to protect our air of mystique. Enjoy.

Friday, 4 April 2008

Monthly Roundup

OK, it might be midway through Easter, but here are the small bits of information we haven't posted this month, but that may be of interest. Plus the latest poll results!
  • The overall winner of the 2009 production vote is Blues Brothers, with 19 votes of 61. High School Musical came second with 16 votes. Either the student body of TMHS are mental, or it's a joke. We hope it's the latter.
  • In case you hadn't noticed, we can now be accessed via - you can expect this URL to cause Internet Explorer to shut down by the time we're back at school.
  • In the last monthly roundup, you may remember that we ran a competition: submit a piece of writing and if it's the best, you get a permanent writing job on this blog. We received no contributions at all. So don't blame us if this blog languishes un-updated in cyberspace...
  • We did receive many emails from nice Nigerian men with $2,000,000 to give us. Happy days!
  • The Little Shop website is still up - and those "coming shortly" links still aren't there.
That's actually just about it - news has been slow this month. But here's that April Fool's gag we pulled in full:
Templar Truths has been acquired by Temple Moor High School and its staff, who wish to publish the following statement:

Templar Truths has been, and is, potentially damaging to our school. It has eroded the pride and reputability of Temple Moor as a scholarly institution. This can no longer be the case, our image has been unfairly defamed and branded as "epic fail" for too long now.

The writers have yet to be punished, but are likely to face expulsion for their devious crimes against our establishment. We hope you, their readers, now understand the true villainy of what was afoot here. We hope you realise that Temple Moor is a wonderful establishment.

It will take a while to undo the cyberspace damage of this weblog, so bear with us as we delete the previous posts, change the style of the blog and erase all the defamatory comments made. Thank you in advance for your support of Temple Moor.

Contribute: send us any tales of Easter school idiocy!