Monthly Roundup

While no one actually tried to re-enact Guy Fawkes' plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament with Temple Moor, November's still been an exciting month. Well, "exciting" might be the wrong word. But here's what's happened:

• Thanks to all of you who voted in the poll. 38 votes where cast - 35 of which voted Templar Truths as the best source of TMHS news on the web. Two people voted for the official website and one person voted for Tempo magazine. Those three have now been locked up permanently in the asylum, and we'll continue to deliver non-biased news for you.
• Reader Emily decided to email us about Children In Need - good work!
• A new newsletter - containing little news but plenty of letters - has been released, expect a review soon!
• Congratulations to all those Year 11s who completed their trial exams, especially those of you who did well but are failed by the flawed RAG analysis system
• In one of our first posts - this one - we mentioned the Titler bin, and we later on promised to give you exclusive photos. Well, readers, that time is now. Why has the school not amended this pseudo-Nazi reference? Maybe because they're a fascist administration, too...
• The school has started selling raincoats, mainly for those who partake in after-school sports clubs. The raincoats have the school logo...and cost a hugely ripping-off price of £25!
• In further frugal news, Temple Moor charges 10p for ketchup sachets, which one pupil has told us is unfair. We agree.

Remember to email us your tales of TMHS woe or delight. But before you do, have a look where the Science College extra cash really got spent:

Liberal Fascism: it's the new black

Wander through Temple Moor. Go on. Because its students can't seem to handle walking around properly - mainly thanks to the cramped, not-at-all-big-enough corridors - the school has put up signs saying "Keep Left". At least, that's the official explanation...

But we at Templar Truths know the truth: it's there to persuade parents and other school visitors that the school is liberal and on the left of the political spectrum. However, every Templar (our word for student or pupil, not just us writers) can plainly see they're being taught in a fascist dictatorship.

So Temple Moor is doing one of two things:

1. Creating Liberal Fascism, a new political ideology that mixes together liberal thoughts with fascism
2. Disguising their fascism behind a liberal curtain

However, fascism has its advantages. Assemblies will be more interesting. We secretly filmed an assembly rehearsal and we think you'll agree - it's more dynamic and interesting than previous assemblies:

AQA Examinations.

Exams, the most crucial part of a students "career". However it is also the most boring and tediously exhausting part. So when that Exam finally finishes you get to go home, put your feet up and relax. Well not in Temple Moor.

Though we are partial to praise and it's always nice to be praised. There are some times when you simply can't be arsed. Last week and this week, year 11s and a few year 10s have been taking part in GCSE Mocks. And so far the end of every test, pupils have to sit an extra 10 minutes being told how good they are. Aren't you normally kept back for being bad?
The latest culprit being the headmaster (we refuse to call him principle) who gave us an unnecessary pat on the back.
We do however congratulate you if you have been taking an exam this week. Our congratulations is better as you're not being kept 10 minutes in a cold sports hall while waiting to go home.

Now onto the actual tests. The school doesn't appear to want to create its own tests for the mocks. Instead it decides to steal previous papers to use. However this means they usually contain subjects we haven't yet covered. This leads to some tests being annoyingly hard. However tests being too hard is not where AQA fail. No it's when they make the tests too easy. Resulting in the rather Epic Lulz.
An example of this is the IT paper pupils sat today. It was 1 hour 30 for foundation and 2 hour for Higher. However with these questions, it made little difference.
Most questions were multi choice. Tick what you thought was the correct statement. Pretty simple. But not as simple minded as the people who come up with the choices. One question was asking about RFIDs or Radio Frequency Identification Devices. Pretty tricky if you haven't done them yet like our class, unless you were lucky enough to make a comic about RFIDs as apart of your revision. However actual knowledge about RFIDs isn't needed when one of the choices face with is "If you get too many RFIDs together they will create an Evil Network".
Another question was talking about a mapping software called SeeEarth, which is not a total rip of GoogleEarth at all. The specific question was asking why Police couldn't use it to catch criminals. Of course the correct answer has to be "The Crooks might have umbrellas so can't be seen".

This isn't a plea for hard papers. Oh no no. We got a few laughs out of this IT one. But instead we'd like less Rubbish in the questions. And also we'd like questions that isn't rambling nonsense.

In summery: More laughs and less Rubbish in test papers please. And can we please go straight home after an exam. Not wait 10 Minutes.

On a final note to the AQA exam board. The school website can also be a source for 3 year old information like ours is.

Muddy floors

The school that brought you chlorine gas attacks and epically slow computer networks now presents muddy floors. No, really.

The Sports Hall's floor is usually kept clean for those participating in sports. That's only when it's being used for sports, of course. Which is usually never. But this week, those in Year 11 taking mock trial exams might have noticed that the floor is covered in dirt and mud.

You see, BSF has blocked the Sports Hall entrance with its building of...whatever they're actually doing (gas chambers, we reckon). For exam-takers, this means they must go round the back. After exiting the gym and crossing muddy ground there, and then crossing muddy ground around the Sports Hall, everybody's shoes are caked in mud. This mud is then transferred onto the Sports Hall floor while wandering around trying to find one's seat. Then it manages to be rubbed into the floor while a bored pupil sits there, having finished half an hour early.

So why am I complaining about this? Because we're always told to take off our shoes/football boots/trainers when entering the Sports Hall - but now it's allowed to be ruined by dirt? "Ah, but we can't have pupils completing exams barefoot" says Temple Moor's (imaginary) spokesperson. Well then why don't you allow pupils to keep footwear on their feet for those awful standards assemblies or when they're coming in from PE?

ONE of us isn't a sellout

I, personally, offer my most sincere, sincere apologies for the disgraceful, tear-inducing article about the school being run by aliens, posted by Belatu not long ago. The reason for it is that, apart from myself, every member of the blog is obscenely terrified that Temple Moor High School Science College will bring action against them for being part of a blog that fails to promote the school in the manner in which it would like.

I have assured the other bloggers that nothing will come of the school's (so far unconfirmed) warning. We don't even know for sure if the school are serious - but if they are, let me be the first to laugh out loud.

By posting the foolish, cringe-worthy article about aliens, which comes with a free poorly editted picture that makes me want to punch Belatu-Cadros, the rest of the blog believed we could escape threat. But - as I have pointed out so many times my voice is hoarse - the school have no course of action to take against us.

We are FULLY WITHIN OUR RIGHTS to post everything that we have - read the disclaimer, morons. We never claim that everything on the blog is entirely factual, and we maintain our right to exaggerate for comedic effect. But the outrageously wimpy article about aliens takes that to an extreme.

Temple Moor, if you REALLY do intend to take action, let us know immediately. I'll get a paramedic team on hand in case I laugh myself unconscious.

ONE of us is NOT a sellout. That one would be me.

And if anyone removes this article, then not only has the blog lost it's only sense-seeing writer, but a full list of names of those involved may find itself to Fleety's office. NOW you have a reason to worry. SO LEAVE THIS ARTICLE.

Thor (not really the Norse god) would like to agree with the above statement.

Make that three: Smoking Man (really, him off The X-Files) wants to add his name to non-sellouting.

Belatu-Cadros (Who?) would like to note that the Aliens post was, however linked with the schools knowledge of the blog, would like to state that the intentions for the actual post are not the same as the ones stated above. He appologies for any confusion it may have caused however as one of the Blog Admins, he'd like posts like this ran through him first.
Templar truths will continue to write the truth.

Temple Moor in graphs

Graphs are a visual way to represent data. They are easier to understand and better equipped at displaying information than tables or blocks of text. And they look rather professional and scientific. So here's Temple Moor, presented in graph format.

What we really want from BSF

So our school is being mutilated as it's reinvented, costing us valuable space. The sound is atrocious, too. In fact, the only good things are that the end result might be good and it gives the Templar Truths staff something to write about. So if billions are being spent making our school "ready for the 21st Century", what do pupils really want?

Because the school doesn't care, here's what pupils really want (all real suggestions):

• Better music and art facilities
• A school network that actually works
• A proper auditorium
  
• That will be used as a stage for, say, Little Shop of Horrors
  
• Proper lighting rigs
• Clean toilets
• A Greggs bakery
  
• A lift
• A "kissing corner" (because some people really do need to get a room)
• A cinema (no, really - it'd keep pupils amused, wouldn't it? It may even make assemblies less boring)

If you're reading, BSF builders, maybe add these to the plans? We'd love you.

Anything we've missed that you'd like to see? Comments please.