RAG. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Fails.

Being on the RED cohort, as I have been since this ridiculous system was installed in school, I have been to most of the revision sessions there is science, art e.t.c. I appreciate that school are willing to help the ‘underachievers’ and so I attend all of the sessions that they want me to, or should I say the system dictates I must. However when I attend these sessions I find regularly that they are of little or of no use to me for one reason in particular. Multi-ability classes. When I have to sit there watching the hands on the clock move slower than traffic on a Friday listening to the teacher explain to the class things that are not relevant to my education I get slightly ticked off. I’m not slagging the people in the lower ability groups, I myself have many friends who are in the ‘B’ band, I’m just saying that when they’re not even sitting the same paper let alone tier as me it seems a bit pointless to mash us all together. The same applies with my lessons for several of my options. Being told by a teacher that we have to answer a set of questions. Fine. Being told by a teacher that we have to answer a set of a questions and then being forced to listen as she answers every single one. Humiliating. Patronising. Stupid.
I had a meeting the other week with a member of the Upper School Office team, a nice lady, she, like many others before her said the same thing to me. She wasn’t worried about me. Some people would take this as an insult but I fully understood what she meant. Unlike many of the people she had been meeting with my target grades were not below C, they were actually quite high.
Another incident occurred the other day as well. Whilst in a class of some of the brightest students in the year the teacher made the comment that ‘I don’t think that anyone in here would be underachieving in 5 or more subjects’ or something to that affect. Raises Hand.

Let’s break it down:
RED: 6 subjects
Amber: 4 subjects
Green: 1 subject.

To me this means that not only do I have to attend after school, I will not be allowed study leave this year. This apparently worked with excellent results last year. Having never talked to a Sixth Former who this applied to I can’t say whether it did or didn’t work, but it’s a bit late to start worrying about that. To become a member of the Amber cohort I would have to, in total, increase my grades by 9 grades i.e. to go from RED to AMBER in art I would have to move up from a B to an A which classes as an increase of 1 grade. Add it up across the board makes 9 grades like I said. In two months???? Not going to happen.Now even more ridiculous is the increase to go from RED to GREEN which totals up to be 19 grades altogether, I’m not even going to try. Why bother? For me I am pleased with my grades & consequently ignore the RAG system where possible, my parents are pleased with my grades and have told me that they are proud of me and that I shouldn’t let it bother me. I try not to. Everyone knows whether you have or haven’t been in year 11 that it is a time when immense pressure is placed on students. Imagine (or remember that). Now imagine (or remember) that with the fact hanging over your shoulders that you are UNDERACHIEVING and because you are UNDERACHIEVING you shall not receive not study leave, you, because you are UNDERACHIEVING shall attend revision sessions. Also as it has been hinted because you are UNDERACHIEVING you may not be allowed to attend the prom. Hell why not give me a RED armband and make me eat with people of the same cohort.


I'm passive, I don't get angry unless someone really annoys me.


For anyone else who is one RED these might come in handy:

Childline: 0800 11 11

The Market Place: 0113 2461659


If you can't remember then they're in the whit pages of your planner under the heading 'Useful Numbers & Sources Of Support'. I wonder why school felt that we would need these?

AQA Examinations.

Exams, the most crucial part of a students "career". However it is also the most boring and tediously exhausting part. So when that Exam finally finishes you get to go home, put your feet up and relax. Well not in Temple Moor.

Though we are partial to praise and it's always nice to be praised. There are some times when you simply can't be arsed. Last week and this week, year 11s and a few year 10s have been taking part in GCSE Mocks. And so far the end of every test, pupils have to sit an extra 10 minutes being told how good they are. Aren't you normally kept back for being bad?
The latest culprit being the headmaster (we refuse to call him principle) who gave us an unnecessary pat on the back.
We do however congratulate you if you have been taking an exam this week. Our congratulations is better as you're not being kept 10 minutes in a cold sports hall while waiting to go home.

Now onto the actual tests. The school doesn't appear to want to create its own tests for the mocks. Instead it decides to steal previous papers to use. However this means they usually contain subjects we haven't yet covered. This leads to some tests being annoyingly hard. However tests being too hard is not where AQA fail. No it's when they make the tests too easy. Resulting in the rather Epic Lulz.
An example of this is the IT paper pupils sat today. It was 1 hour 30 for foundation and 2 hour for Higher. However with these questions, it made little difference.
Most questions were multi choice. Tick what you thought was the correct statement. Pretty simple. But not as simple minded as the people who come up with the choices. One question was asking about RFIDs or Radio Frequency Identification Devices. Pretty tricky if you haven't done them yet like our class, unless you were lucky enough to make a comic about RFIDs as apart of your revision. However actual knowledge about RFIDs isn't needed when one of the choices face with is "If you get too many RFIDs together they will create an Evil Network".
Another question was talking about a mapping software called SeeEarth, which is not a total rip of GoogleEarth at all. The specific question was asking why Police couldn't use it to catch criminals. Of course the correct answer has to be "The Crooks might have umbrellas so can't be seen".

This isn't a plea for hard papers. Oh no no. We got a few laughs out of this IT one. But instead we'd like less Rubbish in the questions. And also we'd like questions that isn't rambling nonsense.

In summery: More laughs and less Rubbish in test papers please. And can we please go straight home after an exam. Not wait 10 Minutes.

On a final note to the AQA exam board. The school website can also be a source for 3 year old information like ours is.

For the love of... ART?!

Another failing has reached my attention - mainly since I was stuck in the thick of it, just days ago. Art teachers, hardly surprising but worth mentioning, are idiots. The lot of them. Hell, I bet they don't even know the first thing about the subject.

It's like the old saying - "If you can't do anything else, teach. If you can't do that, teach P.E. And if you can't cope with that either, teach Art."

Due to some tool screwing up the timetabling, Year 11s have been forced to switch to a whole new Art teacher mid-way through a GCSE COURSE! How badly is that going to affect their grades?

From the evidence, VERY badly. Hardly anyone in this particular art glass is anywhere near a pass grade yet. Most are hovering around E/F/G grades. And when I say hardly anyone, that is no exaggeration. It is the majority of the class.

Granted, our new Art teacher couldn't really have done anything about our previous teacher's failings at her job. To be frank, she was useless in every meaning of the word. She broke people's art projects, took time off for illnesses which, as it appeared, didn't affect her a great deal (she came into school many days to "catch up with things", and she looked fine. But she insisted she couldn't teach us and apologized in the most shockingly un-meaningful way I have ever known.) and generally didn't know a great deal about Art in itself, or what our GCSE course entailed. Half the stuff which we allegedly "should've done" last year in Art wasn't even set for us at the time, which has played a major part in dragging everyone down.

But the new teacher isn't much better either. Only now, in October of our final year, just weeks away from our mock exams and a few months from our real exams, does she tell us how far behind we are. Why did she not tell us from what she could see of our previous work with our previous teacher? Because she doesn't have a clue what we did with our previous bloody teacher! So now, with barely time to turn things around, she tells us, and me specifically, that we're doing horribly. Nice timing.

What angered me even more, is that after taking in our sketchbooks, she clearly didn't look at them before compiling these reports on our progress. Half the stuff she claims I haven't done, I have - it's all in my book, not hard to find if you opened the damn thing.

I, personally, am taking a great deal of GCSEs. Far more than the majority of students. Since Year 10, I have worked toward the goal of passing each and every one of them. Being told that you've fallen behind almost irreperably given the time left is one f*cking huge blow.

Art teachers are idiots. They have failed their students. They have failed at their craft. I hate them all.

Hellish, inhospitable working conditions? Just the usual at Temple Moor.

Ah, nearly a week without blogging. It's good to be back.

So, the title should say a lot of this for me. Hellish and inhospitable working conditions? What could I be talking about?

Two tales, both of which occured in today at one of the (allegedly) "Best Schools in the District" - following a lesson on the upper floors of the main school block, as the bell rang for break, the entire class flooded out into the corridor. It seemed unusually smoky for this time of day. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it... that's when it hit me. Why the hell is the corridor filled with mysterious wispy smoke?
Several theories emerged, some more logical than others.

1) Another mishap on the building site. It wouldn't surprise me in the least, but the question is, what could have caused the smoke? It didn't appear thick enough to be engine smoke from failing machinary, in which case, I don't see what else could have caused it.
2) A chemical spill. No, not another Chlorine Leak (although that's only a matter of time), but a small scale science block spillage. The chemicals must've reacted pretty nicely to make that much smoke though, making this thoery illogical - chemicals don't seem to react properly in most planned experiments, so why would it succeed via an accidental spillage?
3) Weed. Not the plant that takes over your garden, the weed that alters your perception of reality. Hint hint. Although I can't see anyone being that brazen about taking drugs in a school corridor, especially when it makes that much smoke.
4) This is my personal favourite. The return of Epic Fail Guy, and his epic fail experiments. Maybe he accidently concocted a lethal acid from an experiment involving nothing but straws and lime water. It wouldn't be unlike this particular teacher.

If none of the above theories prove true, then the smoke's origin may be forever unknown. Which isn't exactly encouraging.

Oh, and tale number two.

It can be heard from the Art Block. It can be heard from the Sixth Form Block. Heck, it can be heard from Outer Mongolia. It's the annoyingly, unneccessarily loud drilling equipment used by our amazing *cough!* polish immigrants workers. Woops, that should be "building specialists".

It makes lessons near the building site more interesting, but not for the right reasons. You can't just hear it, but for people near, you can feel it. Sure it's an excuse for not concentrating, but after a few minutes, it loses it's appeal and becomes damn annoying.

It may not sound like much, but for a high school, having abnormally smoky corridors and incessent drilling that shakes the buildings about isn't a good thing.

Expect more tales of woe soon, Templars.

Who needs Nazi containment cells? We have Maths rooms.

The title should summarise this fairly well. Basically, this refers to several of our Maths rooms, including my own. As if the small windows, that are placed to high too comfortably see out of without being stood, didn't create enough of a prison-like atmosphere, the windows in the doors of Maths rooms are now being covered over with card or paper - completely cutting us off from the outside world. Every lesson in that room feels like I'm in a jail cell - and with a plateful of Algebra, fractions, and theorems sat before you, it doesn't get much more hellish.

But not only does it make you feel cut off, it also has very impractical implications. Our Mathematics teacher has claimed in the past not to just walk in without being asked, and has yelled at us many a time for it. But on many other occasions, he has asked us why we were waiting outside, and yelled at us for this too. So which does he want? I don't think even the Führer-esque teacher knows.

With the window now covered off, we cannot see if he or anyone else is in the room, and therefore are never sure which action to take. When we questionned why there was paper over the window - he yelled. Surprise Surprise.

And, if you need more reasons, how about that it's a severe fire and emergency hazard? Ah, Temple Moor stupidity never ceases to amaze.

The Great Kitchen Disaster of '07

Ah yes, yet another case of absolutely shameful goings on behind the scenes at the school. Yet this tale of woeful mishap wasn't based in the school offices. Today, it all occured within the school kitchen - which has fairly recently been totally remodelled.

The main cause of the disaster is unknown - but it is more than likely to involve a foolish lunchlady (woops, sorry, now known as a "lunchtime supervisory assistant") or severely botched ceiling work. The following is known - the kitchen was flooded, meaning no food could be provided - it was described, in the headteacher's own words, as "Contaminated water on the floors" - which, a specialist Foolish-to-English translator claims, means "Woops, some moron spilt a sewage pipe all over our brand new kitchen". Whether this is true remains to be seen, but all I know is that the school dealt with this disaster (which was likely caused by them solely) in a rather foolish manner.

By employing the cheapest and most incompetant drainage company to fix the problem, the school thought all their problems would be solved. But seriously - I've never seen a company drain a flooded dirty kitchen using a hosepipe before. But then, when the company is called Easaway (oh, how I cried upon reading that), and their slogan is 'we drain things', what can one come to expect?

The headteacher, of course, looked as pathetic as ever. Wearing a coat longer than himself, and sporting the classic 'I-have-no-idea-what-I'm-doing' look, he looked rather nervous as I, and another blogger from Templar Truths, questionned him on what had actually happened. But I suppose it's only the latest in a long line of disasters for the man who leads our school.

Below are a few other facts and events that have conspired since he joined us in January.

1. A huge fire, which also destroyed a tree and a neighbouring house's conservatory.
2. A Chlorine Spill that endangered thousands of lifes (caused by idiotic workers)
3. The suicide of a younger pupil at the school.
4. Ambulances were called into school no less than FIVE TIMES between him taking over as headteacher and the end of the school year in early July. (No ambulances were called in the earlier part of the school year, whilst Mr Sheriff was in charge)
5. Smoking has increased amongst students.
6. Younger pupils have been seen openly exchanging what appeared to be drugs just outside school premises. (Teachers, stood just feet away, said nothing.)
7. The school builing project has fallen vastly behind.

And those listed are just the more notable occurances.

Added to this, nicknamed the Great Kitchen Disaster of '07, one has to wonder - how has he kept his job?

The school dealt with this latest disaster ineptly, as always, but maybe we wouldn't have such bad luck without our current headteacher? If one believes in such things, could he perhaps be a jinx?

More information on the cause of the GKD as we get it.

SKiLZ Room

Starting tomorrow (19th of September), the School Clinic. Which will be in M6 (or the SKiLZ room as labeled).
The School Clinic will be for those that need help to quit smoking, drugs, have issues about sex, STI's, Suicidal thoughts and many other Physiological related issues.



This is infact a Trap.



The School does not like pupils smoking, so if you walk into the clinic and say, you have been smoking, these means that there is chance you will end up serving some sort of punishment.
Under aged Sex is also frowned upon, as having sex under the age of consent is chargeable (only in serious cases). So also by saying you have an STI or that you have are pregnant could end up getting someone in trouble, as well as making you a laughing stock.

However, plus points do come from this AIDs and Drugs Room.
Free Condom and Pregnancy tests for all.
Now that I have that out of the way I can talk about the other humorous things you can do in the clinic.

1. Walk into the Clinic and say you have voices in your head. When they ask you what they say, reply with: "to breath and eat".
2. Have a Physiology session with the school shrink. This might not sound fun, but it will get you out of lesson.

Ok, there was only 2 points, but as you imagine, having a school clinic is a good thing as not many schools have them. Yet this does show how much our school must need one more than other schools in the first place.

If you lowered the drinking, smoking, age of consent and driving laws, many laws wouldn't be broken as often.

Jobs: Competency and Intelligence not required.

Ah, my first time posting for your viewing pleasure. Not because I haven't had much to blog about, as there are always mistakes, cock-ups, and frankly unbelievable goings-on at Temple Moor, but because I was waiting for something more than a mis-labelled bin, astonishing new uses for the humble sticky note, or a Headteacher (I refuse to acknowledge the term "Principal") who is determined to assassinate us. This particular post may not be as comedic as some, but it's something that must be brought to light - after all, our intention is to tell you what the newsletters do not. And I'm relatively sure that the newsletters have never mentioned the fact that the office staff are incompetent morons.

First, let me take you back to the first day back of school - it was only a two-hour day, and all we had to do is collect our new planners (correct the mistakes in them as well, of course), find out our new timetable (And correct that too), and last but not least, note our bus and group numbers for Lightwater Valley. But, in a manner that I should have predicted, the school managed to screw it all up. Not for everyone, though. Just for me (well, me and a few others).

I was positively delighted to hear that the school had stupidly missed my name off the list. So, assuming it was a simple mistake, I headed off to the Isolation block to tell them their mistake, and find out my bus number. I sat there waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And finally, someone took the time out to speak to me (I swear they kept me sat there so long for a laugh.).

They were happy to check the system... oh wait, no, apparently I didn't pay my money. Which is utter bollocks. So they interrogate me over it in a way befitting Nazi Germany Gestapos, before wasting my parent's time by phoning them to confirm they too remember sending in the money. They did. Grudgingly (which was a laugh and a half - if anyone had a right to hold a grudge, it'd be me), they agreed to let me go on the trip. Unfortunately, it involved travelling on a bus full of Year 10s. (Another note on the matter, is that the 'system' - which I believe to be a network of Polish Immigrants writing information on sticky-notes - did not know a) what year group I was in, or b) What form I was in.)

Screw that, I thought, I'd be much happier staying at home. And so, after an hour-long arguement with the incompetent fools who had pocketted my money before denying it had ever been delivered, we were back to the starting point - me not going to Lightwater Valley. But this is Temple Moor, stuff like this is par for the course. But, now just a few weeks in at best, the school decided that it was about time to stage another cockery.

The list of full-attendees arrived... without my bloody name on it, despite the fact I haven't missed a day yet! So I go to the Office to point out their mistake (shades of pre-Lightwater Valley), and they can't understand how it happened. Their marvellous 'system' had me down as being a full-attender. And yet the list printed directly out of said system claimed I was not. Hilarious. What made matters worse is that other people (who's attendance was self-admittedly the same or lower than my own) happened to make this list. Why wasn't I on it? I didn't dare ask, I wouldn't want to give the trained monkeys that work in the offices such a tricky brain-teaser so early in the week.

How long before the school next try to toy with my mind? I'm not sure. But I'm sure I can combine all my collected stories of incomptence, idiocy, lies, and ignorance, and sell them on to the press for a reasonable price. But for now, at least, all your Templar Related mishaps are exclusive to our own blog.