PE Trip: What They Didn't Want You To Know

None of the Templar bloggers went on the PE trip, but we have an inside source who's decided to spill the beans on this disaster of a trip! The trip took place over the weekend, and was designed to let PE students have fun. However, it seems to have gone horribly wrong.

A certain pupil had his room "trashed" by the other pupils, and ended up being "bullied all weekend". Did the teachers step in and prevent this? Of course not, Temple Moor teachers never take any notice of anything, unless it involves chlorine. Or perhaps it's because teachers "were boozing" at night - in the presence of students, as well! Surely this isn't allowed? But it is: because the teachers make the rules.

Food is essential for exercise, it gives you energy to use. You'd think, then, that on a PE trip, food would be regarded highly. "Food was s***" said our inside source, reflecting the group consensus. And to add insult to injury, students had to make their own lunch. If you leave a group of teenagers to pick what they eat, chances are they won't choose a balanced meal full of what they need. A good diet is critical to PE, and it seems students have been robbed of it.

Our inside source said:

one of the climbing instructors kept telling a pupil to "check out his mate" and that he and his girlfriend "checked each other out on the rocks all the
time"

Is this really what the Temple Moor staff wants its students to be hearing from 'professionals'? It's doubtful.

Finally, the most shocking revelation of all: staying in the same "dirty rooms" were ex-convicts/young offenders. Not only did many children feel threatened in the presence of criminals, but dormitory doors had no locks - leaving them literally open to the ex-convicts, who could go in and steal pupils' belongings. How's that for safety?

Will the next newsletter or Tempo mention that pupils paid £130 for "dirty rooms and cramped space", along with all the other problems mentioned above? Hardly! Instead, you'll hear about how it was great for "team-building", "self-esteem" but above all, it was "fun". At least you know the truth.

Lightwater Shithole

Before I get any bad comments. I know Lightwater Valley isn't a Shithole, its just a funny name.
I will be talking about some of the rides in this entry.

The Eagles Claw
What it's about: Basically, the lovely scientists down at LWV (Lightwater valley for short) decided to make a ride that pisses people off. It goes like this: You get it, sit down, then you get swung around in the air that much that you don't have a flying fuck what the Mary has just happened.
Pros: Good for scaring your best friend or making someone be sick.
Cons: Chance of being sick or scared.

The Ultimate
What it's about: A fighting game in the form of a Rollacoaster. As well as playing the Mortal Combat Theme Tune in the waiting area, The Ultimate knocks seven bells out of you on the way though. If it isn't the bumps or the sudden turns that hurt you, its the cock handled Safety devices and seats.
Pros: First half is fun and the last half is fast.
Cons: First half is slow and the last half can kill you.

The Decapitator
What it's about: While riding across a track thinner than Posh Spice, you go up and down and spin around in your cart.
Pros: The Fact people have died in it is very cool.
Cons: The Fact that you can die isn't very cool.
Notes: It isn't really called the Decapitator, but I think we all know why it is.

The Rat Ride (or Rat Race)
What it's about: Apart from having two names, the Rat Ride is an underground (well in a dark building anyway) ride, Identical to it's above ground sister; the Grizzly Bear, is a basic but fun ride in the dark. After entering through tunnels that resemble a Latvian Villa, you then get to get in you rat and ride around in the dark. For all you know, a 46 year old man, could be raping a 3 year old boy and you wouldn't even tell.
Pros: Fun ride and in the dark.
Cons: Chance of Minimum wage LWV Worker leaving some lights on somewhere.

The Wave (Aka, the Pirate Ship (even though its a Viking ship))
What it's about: A long sea trip, boat simulator to make you throw up after the 3rd ride.
Pros: You get to go high in the air.
Cons: Very very very very Anti Climactic.

The Falls of Terror
What it's about: A Pleasant Boat Ride.
Pros: You get Wet and Tube 3 is fun.
Cons: You get Wet and Tube 1 and 2 are shit.

The Caterpillar ride
What it's about: Go really really really fast in an awesome cart while shooting zombies.
Pros: Go Really Really fast in an awesome cart while shooting zombies.
Cons: I just Lied.

Go Carts
What it's about: Drive around a small track 5 times *gasp*
Pros: You get to live those dreams of driving fast cars.
Cons: No matter how much you impress those LWV staff, they still hate your guts and you won't become a Formula 1 race car driver.

There are more rides but I can't be bothered commenting.

Well I had a nice day of LWV, Hope you had a good one too (unless you didn't go).

Are we early? Yes! I mean, no!

As Bus 10 rolled into the Lightwater Valley, kids aboard thought "here we are". Yes, positive discipline's most positive aspect - a trip to the theme park if you get 50 or more credits and manage to keep yourself out of isolation - arrived for another year. Bus 10 was first on the scene at Lightwater, and arrived at about quarter past ten.

Upon arrival, the students on the bus were told that the bus had arrived early, and they'd have to wait another fifteen minutes sat in the coach. Yes it was hot, yes everyone wanted to go on The Ultimate as fast as they could...but the theme park wouldn't upon till 10:30. Sounds like your average blunder.

More coaches turned up, and the pupils from those coaches got off, tickets in hand, and went straight into Lightwater Valley. Apparently, it was open and the Bus 10 people had been sat on the coach for no good reason looking like idiots.