Turn up the Tempo

Only two days into the term and the school has unleashed its latest publication of the school magazine "Tempo".

This month edition boasts a front cover showing how brave templars are being made to slave away in the kitchen coming up with new ideas for school meals, however to me it would seem more like they're promoting international vegetarianism by the looks of the garden products on the table. I'm sure the current message on eating healthily is that you should be having a "balanced diet", but to the school this means that you are only allowed either vegetables or fruit. Also, it appears like they're trying to describe what they're making as fast food, "fast food wins fab four house points" is this some sort of joke or play on words, cause I don't really think wit is their strong point.

Turn the page and what does catch my attention is that of an article titled The Big Conversation, it describes recently how a group of year 9's made a video (complete with kaiser chief theme tune) for an entry into a national competition called (surprisingly) The Big Conversation. Well first congrats to the templars involved for being ranked in the top ten in the country...however, i must say the topic of your video was maybe slightly out of date. After all slavery was abolished a fair old while ago now.

Over the page once more and I find what i thought was some sort of bad art project printed in one of the articles, but no it is instead the London 2012 Olympic logo. The article (titled Young Ambassadors) details how two templars are helping to promote the Olympics. sport and healthy living, yeah cause the Olympics encourages healthy living. Many have already suffered epileptic fits from seeing the animated logo and there is no don't that countless athletes with be taking the customary performance enhancing drugs. Very healthy indeed.

One thing I do notice about pages 4 and 5 is that it seems the writers of tempo have adopted a policy of use alliteration and it makes you seem ten times smarter. Well that's not the case but there are some beauties in this issue such as, "Summer Sports Success" (unlucky for those with a lisp), "Street Smarts" (again with the S), "Trying for a Trophy" (not quite as impressive as the others as only the first and last words begin with T but a good attempt) and finally my personal favourite "Fast Food From Fab Four" now that really is almighty audacious alliterative accidence.

Now, a few little mentions now just to finish off with:

• On page 6 it would appear the staff are improving their bilingual skills with such headlines as “Toulouse: Le Trek”
• On page 7 it would appear that one poor templar has had to write an article about there self, although they do try and cover this up by speaking in third person, but I’m afraid there name was printed at the bottom of the article, unlucky.
• On page 8 it mentions how the soul singers are now going out of school to do small shows. So now the school has resorted to busking in the streets to try and raise funds, for shame.

Finally, one quick check of the school website and it would appear there is no sign of the Tempo anywhere on site. The only thing that ever seems to get updated on there is the date in the top corner. See for yourself here. Last thing, you will notice on the logo of the Tempo magazine the "O" is leaning over, is this meant to depict how wrecked the school is? Decide for yourself.