The "April 2008" newsletter is clearly not. Not only was it distributed in May, but it even details events than happened in May (in the past tense) - so it was clearly not from April. Anyway, you know the drill of examining these things by now.
"talents of Temple Moor students once again take centre stage", "Variety Shows", "a pleasure to be a part of the Year 11 Prom", "I wish all students who are undertaking exams in Years 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 and 14 the best of luck"
The theme here is a quite a simple one: TMHS kids done good. And, despite the many disasters thrown at them, they have. Well done! You may notice in the news there's controversy over whether kids sit too many exams. Note the complete disregard in wishing six years of pupils good luck in their upcoming exams!
"an extra staff development day..."
Now that's good news. Unless you're in Year 11, because you'll be gone by that time.
Sixth Form Study Leave
"Year 12 study leave will commence at the end of school on Wednesday 14th May", "all Year 12 students will continue their studies until the examination results"
Does this make any sense?
"the successful implementation across the whole school", "up and running in every year group", "relatively few number of Red or Amber students", "a really positive impact", "here to stay"
Our dislike of the system is well known, but perhaps it does have some advantages. The real question is: does it have more advantages than previous systems? And another question I want answers to: why is the current trend to use the word "cohort"? "Red cohorts" sound like communists, "amber cohorts" are possibly those miners in Jurassic Park and "green cohorts" sound like environmentalists.
"following on from...RAG", "only be granted for those students on GREEN", "booster sessions and revision classes"
Amazingly, they haven't resorted to their favourite line: "it's a privilege, not a right". But that's compensated for by the random capitalisation of colours. It's just odd. Many students (well, those on Red and Amber) feel this approach is silly and while it might be useful, some people do just work better at home.
Year 11 Examination Information for Parents
If we're honest, there's nothing here we haven't heard before.
Stress Buster for Sixth Formers
"learn a smattering of conversational Italian in preparation for their holidays"
Italian lessons are "stress-busting"? I prefer relaxing things, but whatever...
"Attendance is a high priority at Temple Moor. Research suggests that students below 92% attendance, which is 17 missed days of schooling a year, will drop one full GCSE grade as a result of the number of lessons missed."
That's the entire article and it's absolutely pointless. It seems to only have been written so they could shoehorn in one of Temple Moor's favourite statistics.
Higher Education Entry 2009
"held on June 25th", "all year 12 students who intend to apply for university"
This - shock of shocks - is a sensible plan. Information that's useful for future life. Now, perhaps if this idea was spread school-wide...
Year 12 Induction Day
"July 1st", "all students progressing to sixth form in September are expected to attend"
Lower School Rugby
"the [continued] development of an excellent standard of rugby league", "next season should be even bigger and better"
Well done to those in lower school who do brilliantly at rugby. Keep up the good work - someone's got to uphold the school's reputation.
Young Gifted and Talented (NAGTY) Day
"ten of our Young Gifted and Talented student cohort", "tremendously successful", "competed against 160 students"
The school does support its gifted and talented students...even if it does insist on "cohort"! Good luck to them all in their future involvement in this project.
"why don't you join us on Monday's and Wednesday's [?]", "we play board games such as monopoly, scrabble and snakes and ladders"
Well it sounds like fun...even though you'll be stuck playing Monopoly till the next day comes. And what's going on with those random apostrophes for pluralising?
Year 11 Prom
"a memorable night", "girls' dresses were outstanding", "boys were very smart", "one of the best year 11 proms yet"
Indeed, we can report that the Year 11 Prom was a success and just about everyone enjoyed the night. Especially the tipsy teachers...
Super Learning Week
"focus for this year's Super Learning Week is 'Every Child Matters' ", "activities will be based on business and enterprise, citizenship, media and ICT"
How do those activities relate to the loose theme? What happened to weeks themed after lessons like Science and even PE? Where's "History Week" and "Geography Week"?
"more cricket teams than ever", "increasing popularity", "home matches at Whitkirk Cricket Club", "let's hope for the sun to shine"
Is cricket becoming more popular? If so, will it become a bigger part of PE? And have these plans been accommodated by BSF? It's doubtful, which is a shame - walking to Whitkirk Cricket Club wastes much time that could be spent cricketing.
The G O Bell Award
"prestigious event running once a year", "professional coaching workshops"
It seems Temple Moor was ahead of its time, predicting cricket's popularity fifty years back. And well done to this year's winner, Michael O'Brien.
Multi Skills Camp
"some people may think that the Easter holidays were for relaxing", "30 Gifted and Talented pupils from...feeder primary schools", "designed to develop psychomotor excellence", "all pupils enjoyed the experience"
Well that is what the Easter holidays are for! Doesn't "psychomotor" sound a bit like telekinesis? Newsflash: Temple Moor creating secret army of telekinetic students.
'Electric Umbrella' Claim Top Prize In Music Competition
"congratulations to Alex Walker, Matthew Walker and Jamie Stringer", "rock band 'Electric Umbrella' ", "a stunning performance demonstrating proficiency and musicianship", "walked away with the title", "small but faithful band of supporters"
I believe we've already covered the excellence of the Umbrella.
Summer Week of Performance
"after the success of the Summer Variety Show last year", "three on shows on successive nights", "tickets will be £3 for each performance"
Three separate shows for music, drama and dance is a brilliant idea - and it gets better if Electric Umbrella are performing. Three quid's not a bad price; so expect reviews.
A Level Art Exhibition
"to celebrate the outstanding work", "entry is free"
A-Level art pieces in an exhibition? How very cultured and possibly very good. So long as it's not an unmade bed or half a cow.